Friday, July 4, 2014

Stay On Schedule

This morning I was tempted to jump into a little food before breakfast-- nothing I hadn't committed, mind you, but the temptation was still there.

I wasn't experiencing any emotion that normally causes cravings. I was just thinking about how nice it would be to eat. Of course, breakfast was still about an hour away, so I knew I needed to hold off. So I battled in my brain, the way I often do when I'm considering compromise, when a beautiful thought came to mind.

Just stay on schedule
- do the next right thing-
and you'll make it through without compromise.

What a sweet, simple thought-- and it was spot on. From that moment until 8:30 when we eat breakfast at the table as a family I had something scheduled in every minute of my morning. Quiet time, accountability call, getting my toddler out of bed, 20-minute cleanup, and breakfast prep were all ahead of me, and all I had to do was the next thing.

I didn't have to argue with myself at all. I didn't have to fight off thoughts of compromise. I just had to step into the very next activity and be fully present while there.

I used to eat because I had nothing better to do, and because I often let my time tell me what to do, rather than me telling my time how to work for me. That provided all sorts of opportunity to fall into the temptation of eating inappropriately. But once I stopped the addictive behaviors and started using my hands for purposes other than feeding my face, it became much easier to stay out of addictive eating simply because I didn't have all that spare time.

Ephesians 4:28 says "Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need."

We can't stop eating addictively and expect the rest of our life to stay exactly the same. We must replace our time, thoughts and emotions with something else-- something positive-- in order to continue walking in victory.

Just do the next right thing. Before you know it, it'll be time to eat again, and you likely will have worked through many of your problems along the way.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Overcoming Food Addiction Is Just the Beginning

Last July I stepped into recovery and found incredible tools to combat addictive eating habits, food addiction and my life-long struggle with Binge Eating Disorder. I honestly believed that the hardest part of recovery was behind me, especially after going more than six months without a single spot of sugar or flour in my diet (no one will tell you that's easy!!). Turns out, the beginning was the easiest part.

I used to relate my thoughts on recovery to an orange. The bitter, oily, conspicuous peel was just as tough to remove as my addictive eating habits. But I thought that once I got it off, I'd be able to enjoy the meat and juice of life like I enjoy what's hidden inside every ripe, delicious citrus fruit.

Turns out, recovery is a lot more like an onion. Peel back one layer, and you've got nothing but another layer of tear-inducing bitterness underneath.

But as sad as that sounds, I'm so incredibly thankful I'm at the place I am. Had I completely fallen back into my food addiction, there's no way I would've been able to get to the next layer of my deep-rooted issues, insecurities and emotion instability.

I've been broken for a very long time, and when I realized that food could comfort me and keep me from facing my problems, I was no more than a kindergartner. Instead of solving my problems, I ate. But my problems never went away. They just escalated while I kept my head in the tub of ice cream.

Thankfully, as I've put boundaries on my food and learned to enjoy it in a more disciplined manner, I've also come face-to-face with all those problems again. Of course I'd rather eat cake than deal with my crap, but I know where that road leads, and I'm unwilling to venture it again.

My hiatus from blogging and vlogging has all had to do with this-- facing an unbelievable amount of problems I didn't even know I was ignoring. But now I'm facing them, and though I feel small, ill-equipped and poor, I also know only good can come out of this journey as long as I'm willing to surrender my worries to my sweet, loving Lord.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Taking a Sabbatical

Hi Friends!

I'm going to be absent from posting for a short bit while I handle some personal matters. I appreciate your patience and understanding, and I look forward to getting back to updating as soon as I'm able.

In the meantime, I'll likely be present in comment sections of blogs and YouTube channels I love, plus I'm always perusing Twitter (my favorite social media of all time!) if you're looking for me.